why I do what I do

So, lately I have been trying to setup a performance art event and have met roadblocks at every turn. I don't really want to disclose what it is, but you already know, Gretchen.

This is from this website.

* avoiders, who may be avoiding fear of failure or even fear of success, but in either case are very concerned with what others think of them; they would rather have others think they lack effort than ability.

So, basically the fear of failure one applies ot me. I am more afraid of what people will think when I actually do apply myself. I need some counseling on this, but I am trying to do my own. For now, I am going with merely throwing myself into the fray to get something done rather than just sitting and defeating my every idea before it comes out.

I had so many ideas when I was at UMass when I wasn't able to make films. But, now that I am able to make films and have potential collaborators, I am meeting the biggest challenge of all...my fear of failure.