This Week in Harryland

So, lately I have been getting a ton of jobs on films. But, I am quickly seeing that they all fall through VERY quickly and unexpectedly. Like Rob says, it's just how film works. Things get pushed back ALL THE TIME in film. So, I have to start being able to deal with it and getting my own things done in the meantime.

Last night, after Adam's optical printing class, I was REALLY inspired for some reason. It wasn't even necessarily how the class went, it was more just the frame of mind that I got myself into by the end. I realized a lot of things about image making last night and I was so psyched to start working. But, when I got to Ali's, all was forgotten (but written down in my notebook).

Most of the time, my tendency is to write about my recent past love life in my work because it is what effects me most deeply.

But now, I am starting to realize that the older I get, the more situations will ring true with me no matter what they are about because I think that humanity is a universal condition. I think that once I am able to get out and see the world, I will begin to be excited by the implications different cultures and of other societies. I am , however, mildly alarmed at the fact that each society takes a lifetime to understand in all of its complexity.
I was reminded of this all too true fact when I saw the movie Memoirs of a Geisha. It was a movie that broke so many rules about interpretation of Asian culture (just as The Last Samurai did..wow did that one piss me off when it came out).
But, now I am reading a lot about Wong Kar-wai and I am really getting inspired by the fact the he can interpret other cultures through his own. Also, his style and sentiment excites me to no end because it throws a cog in the whole idea that things need to be shown to us and not told to us...this is another Robert Patton Spruill rule.
So, last night, I started to think about my whole narrative that I am always assembling. I mainly just insert a ton of strange quirks that I have and I have learned form others. But now, I am just starting to realize that no matter what I do, I am going to run into trouble with my own "standards". Something that I have written will meet a LOT more criticism than the exact same thing written by someone else in my mind. So why be so hard on myself?
This lead me to make a list of healthier goals for myself this semester

• MAKE AS MUCH WORK AS YOU CAN
• HAVE FUN
• DON'T WORRY, IT'S NOT THE LAST THING YOU WILL EVER DO
• WORK WITHIN YOUR MEANS

This next part in italics contains me gushing about how happy my love life is...so if you don't care to read it...DON'T!
As far as my love life goes, being with Ali has also made me realize that I don't really need anything in life besides someone who makes me feel content. In the past, I had always felt puzzled (internally) when people would talk about how love is all they need... (when I was in previous relationships). But now, I can honestly say that in her arms, I am completely content and don't any great desire whatsoever to work toward my ambitions. I could honestly be completely poor and never make another film as long as I live as long as Ali stays with me for my time on earth.
Anyway, I just thought that it was interesting that I am finally feeling this way... especially since I felt like I was more in love with Rachel than I ever could be with anyone else...that sentiment was quickly dashed and I realized that I wasn't even in love with her.
Back to my work. Here is a list of the shoots that I am trying to work on this semester.

1. Johnny Cupcake video (tomorrow)
   
2. Special Teams reshoot
3. Reverand Glasseye music video (put off)
4. Lost in the Rain (w/ choreographer)
   
5. 3 parts of my self portrait
   
6. Michael Geoghegan's thesis film
7. Alex Ward (something with him...he's so fun to work with)
8. AC-ing the godforsaken Advanced production shoot whenever that "drops" from the sky
9. gaffing/DPing anyone and everyone's work who asks me
10. DPing Jesse's film
11. collaboration with Sean Carrol (I am NOT worthy, so I am bowing down and being the gaffer on it)
12. a couple of music videos (for my self portrait)
13. a Dresden Dolls music video (if everything goes well on this shoot with Michelle Millette)
14. some crazy optical printing pieces (for my DVD menus mostly)
15. printing of my older S8 works
16. pre-production of me and Glen McLeod's film to be shot in Austin this summer
17. tons more rap videos with Mike Geoghegan
18. rap video with Schneider and Cate from film
19. footage for reel (on slow motion 35)
20. guerrilla ISGM secret piece (to be announced upon completion)
21. helping Jay Salvo
22. lighting for something w/ Travis Lynn (performance/installation)
    
23. test footage of TONS of different situations
24. website and online reel
    
25. DVD reel and business cards
26. making a 5 year plan (after consulting with Glen on whether or not he's ready to shoot....I will probably end up moving to LA if he is not ready or working as a colorist at R.P.S.'s film shack cult compound
27. shooting a Robby Roadsteamer video with Michelle Millette??? perhaps
    

I hate to add more stuff to this list and take stuff of, but the truth is, I probably will (along with getting rid of some of the stuff that never materializes). It looks like my plate is full (and I am SURE I am forgetting a ton of stuff).

Anyway, my plan is to just take it one day at a time and get some great looking stuff so I can actually support myself on the outside of these walls. But, the truth is, I don't feel any pressure anymore because I know that I can be happy without anything at all as long as I am with a girl like Ali.

What I'm Seeing Now

For the past few years, I have been seeing the world in a new way because of my interest in lighting. I first learned about film and video lighting at PBS as an intern. In the lighting studio there, we hung around 40-50 2K fresnels in the grid and adjusted them based on the instruction of our Production Manager and the other techs. We also worked with small Arri kits, Kino Flo's, practicals, HMI's, two 5K's, a 9 Light or mini-brute, Source 4's, chimeras, scoops, and broad lights. It was an amazing training ground for the uses of different styles of lights and equipment.

Lately, I was thinking about how we barely ever used 1K's for anything but a backlight and now, they have had to be my main tool at MassArt. As I read the American Cinematographer every month, I see DP's mentioning using 15K's and 10K's just to create an effect. Because they are able to use such high powered light sources, they are able to get images that reflect how real-life lighting situations work with human eyes.
However, it's always seemed like the odds are stacked against me for having non-grainy images. I think that the non-availability of equipment for external at MassArt has also lead me to start considering using alternative techniques to achieve a similar effect to that of the movies that I admire. I build my own practicals and think about light in a very limited way. I do not go out of my means and am able to mor efaithfully represent real life situations than someone of more means because I am forced to think inside a highly restictive box.

Most of my interest in realism comes from my first stint into narrative film lighting. I learned early on in the film, that I had to make the light believable but effective for what I was going for. My tastes back then were far less developed. I tended to explicitly follow what I eventually evolved into from repeated directions from the DP. After the film, however, I was able to go back into my craft and develop preferences for kinds of lights that I would associate with certain moods.
Nowadays, I have a huge vocabulary of lighting styles that I have picked up from other gaffers, DP's on jobs, in magazines, on the internet, from observation of actual lighting principles, and just through deeply thinking about how light wqorks within a space.
As the time goes by, though I am more and more fascinated by the effects of lights outside of my means for achieving spectacular effects. I still have yet to try raising a 20'x20' silk in front of a bank of 10K lights ten blocks away from my subject merely for it dazzling effect. But, I am starting to realize that the more I can work within my means, the more disciplined I will be with it when I am outside of my means. It seems like a lot of DP's nowadays are used to being spoiled by the latest gear and start to get lazy in their approach. I have learned from Sean Carrol especially that one can work to GREAT effect within the meager means of a public art school...it's all in the attitude.

I recently saw Memoirs of a Geisha and was reminded of how one's means can expand infinitely outward even if unreasonable expectations are met. The DP on this movie actually had the largest