drama...saving it fo my mama

This week has been terribly eventful. I have been working on the crew for the narrative film production class as a gaffer/grip. I got into a huge fight with Stephan and Nestor on set. They were taking too long with B unit while we were watching perfect lighting go by. I kind of unplugged a lightor two and they yelled at me. Then, they walked off set because I was yelling at them to break down their lighting stands. Now, I am not a macho guy or a jerk, but being on that set after that, you might think I am the way people were treating me.
I apologized to Nestor this morning.

This left me thinking of why I say and do what I do. I hate to tie it to my upbringing, which is so cliche, but I really do think that I have so little tact because I've experienced that kind of treatment. My Dad would come home and bark at me and my brother like we were inmates....mostly from my mother's commands. I learned that when I am stressed out, this is how I should behave...I should release it onothers. Needless to say, I have to figure out a way around that. I think I came up with a solution.

I told each of the people that saw my wrath that day that if they see it again, to just crack a joke and maybe it'll snap me out of it. Basically, I get into this mental negativity cycle of thought and I get stuck eventually so that I begin to knock down every suggestion that is made to me. I become a know-it-all naysayer.

Why is it so easy for me to see my problem and the cause, but not the solution? My anger is something that I have struggled with for my whole life.
Can I train myself out of it before it ruins my chances of having a career because I burn all of my bridges? I worry like a Woody Allen character.